Nature is my medicine. ~Sara Moss-Wolfe

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. 

~John Burroughs

Hi ya'll.  Harmony Acres is working her magic and I have begun my mental and emotional journey back to the land of the  living.  Nature gently embraces me in an invisible healing hug. I find inspiration everywhere I look.  My friends and family have been incredibly understanding as I attempt to find my way back to "my normal" (which was different than everyone else's to start with).  The tragedy has forever changed my perception of life but I cannot and will not allow fear to control me. I was born strong willed (stubborn some would say).  Every journey begins with one step.  Baby steps, baby steps.  Just take it moment by moment until I conquer all my new found phobias.(Driving the car, seeing a motorcycle, any approaching traffic, people treating me different because I act different, crying unexpectedly, shaking uncontrollably and on and on). 

 My Simple Living odyssey that I had been on has given me a strength that I was unaware that I possessed.  Don't get me wrong, I am still frail at times (the meds help and you know how bad I hate pills), but I will find my way back (Beck won't allow anything less from her mom).  

My goals are:

1. Daily yoga and meditation to relieve the anxiety and panic attacks. (many friends urge professional counseling.  Me?  I'll do it my way, thank you very much.) Besides, this is as close as I can get to an herbal remedy for my soul and I don't want some stranger poking around inside my head and messing with the junk in my attic.
2. By the end of the week I will drive myself to Warner (this will take me through the crash area). Just the thought of it  makes me sick at my stomach.
3. Go back to work next weekend. Why? Cause I want to be normal again.
4. In two weeks I will no longer need the anxiety pills (I hate pills).
5. In one month I will be able to drive my car without my hands shaking uncontrollably.
6. In two months my comfort zone will once again be anywhere I can drive my car and not just the five acres that Harmony Acres sits on.

As I have told you before, Harmony Acres is a place for healing.  Harmony restores that which is broken.  As God uses broken vessels for his divine purpose, so he uses nature to heal broken spirits and soothe the anguished soul.  So it is. 

Back on May 25, a freak wind storm came through.  None of the light weight lawn ornaments were moved or turned over.  However, our beloved willow tree (planted it in the early 90's) was laying flat on the ground.  After the initial shock of the loss, I decided to try to salvage parts of it for furniture.  Many people told me that willow was too weak to be useful for any purpose.  So I waited.  It is now July 30th and this weak, damaged tree is still alive.  Even though a freak incident knocked it down, it is still firmly grounded by it's roots.  It is still thriving and surviving.  I can certainly relate to this. 

My willow was knocked down by a freak accident but it refuses to surrender to it's circumstances.
Life can be like that.

           God has made me a promise in 2 Timothy 1:7:

 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

This is his promise to me and this will get me through this fire storm of life.  I can only speak to my pain because I cannot even imagine the sufferings of the others touched by this tragedy.  Please know, you are never far from my thoughts and are in my prayers continually.  

Another famous quote that I love and gives me cause for hope:

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." — Mother Teresa

In The Blink Of An Eye..................Unspeakable Tragedy

We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival.  ~Winston Churchill

Isn't it strange how quickly one moment (July 19, 2011 a few minutes before noon. it was a tuesday), frozen in time, can be a defining moment in one's life.  It's a moment I can't forget but a moment I don't completely remember every detail either.  All I have are fragments that I am slowly piecing  together.  The horrifying images haunt me every moment.  Witnessing such a traumatic event; I am emotionally and mentally broken at this time but I will heal eventually.  My heart breaks for those involved in this tragic accident and their families.  Prayer is something we can all do.

One moment, I am a little old lady driving down the road (a trip I had made thousands of times on a road I had traveled all my life) on my way home from the grocery store in Warner.  Suddenly, my understanding of reality is lost in confusion and terror.  My brain cannot process the information and images coming at it, even though it seemed, at the time,  like slow motion.  I keep using the word  "moment" because that's all it took.

I would like to say "Thank You" to the countless strangers, friends, neighbors and family who comforted me at the scene of the accident (it was evident that I was in total shock).  Steve Wright, Muskogee County Commissioner and a lifetime friend, as well as John Smith, stayed with me until my brother David and his wife Vicky arrived.  The Warner Volunteer Fire Department, the Chaplin for their department prayed with me and my guys, the Keefeton Volunteer Fire Department, Raymond and Jake were very compassionate and kind.  The Highway Patrol Troopers offered comfort and support.  The many friends and neighbors who have called and stopped by the house to offer words of comfort.  To Brother Danny Barks, the pastor at my sometimes Church, who always knows the right thing to say to help me.  Country folks taking care of one of their own.  I am grateful to one and all.

And to my beloved daughter, Becky, who knows my heart.  You have always been the true joy of my life and you have given me more comfort and strength than you can possibly imagine.  Without you I would just be a shattered little ole lady. You have been and continue to be  infinitely patient and understanding as I try to put into words the horrifying images trapped in my memory.  My heart loves your heart.

And last, but certainly not least, I give "Thanks" to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Now I truly understand that every breath is a precious gift to be spent wisely and lovingly.  Thank you Lord for extending your hand of protection to me.  Your mercy and grace are unlimited.

Before I leave you for a couple of weeks to begin the healing process, I just want to say one more thing.  Every day, all day long, the news is bombarding us with new and sensational stories.  Their information is not always correct. The rumor mill creates more pain than you can imagine.  Also, for every story told,  there remains broken lives and shattered people, who are left trying to pick up the pieces.  Be compassionate, kind and non-judgemental because that  "moment in time" could happen to you, even though I pray it does not. 

Ecclesiastes 3

 ¹To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 ²A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 ³A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 ⁴A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 ⁵A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 ⁶A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 ⁷A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 ⁸A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.