Mid Life Crisis? Menopause? Madness?

The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained.  By the age of fifty you have made yourself what you are, and if it is good, it is better than your youth. 
~Marya Mannes, More in Anger, 1958

On my way home from Muskogee today, I had a little time for reflection.  The trip totally exhausted me and some of the people I encountered in town were just plain scary.  So I got to thinking about life in general and mine specifically.  Some areas are great, best it's ever been.  And then there's this one little thing:

Reasons I Think My Life May Be Out Of Balance

1. If my life as I know it now were a  song it would be "I 'm A Survivor" instead of my years gone by days of "Pretty Woman".  My personal appearance isn't number one on my list anymore.(not even in the top ten) but I sure know how to survive emotional and mental upheaval. I need to find a nice balance between the two.  Pretty woman meets Wonder Woman.
2. When I drive in town, I turn the radio off to stay focused  instead of turning it up so loud it rocks the entire block.
3. I sleep with a cute furry cat instead of a handsome hairy man and I don't care (well, maybe a little).
4. I have dimples in my fannie instead of in my smiling face and I don't care (well maybe a little).
5. My hair color out of a bottle for 35 years was red, now it's mostly natural silver and I don't care.
6. The average size American woman is a 14, I am not and I don't care (well, maybe a little).
7. I do the things my mother used to do to drive me crazy and it scares the hell out of me (when I can remember what they were).
8. When it's 32 degrees outside, I'm comfortable in a thin long sleeve shirt (hot flashes you know).
9. My waistline measures more than my bust line (that ain't right)!
10. When I try to climb out of bed, all my bones cracking sounds like a 21 gun salute.

My goodness!  I didn't know it was going to turn into a novel!  Let's see, weight gain, wild mood swings(didn't confess to that one, did I?), hot flashes.  Hold on please, I need to look-up the definition of Mid Life Crisis. (An emotional period of doubt and anxiety sometimes experienced by people who realize that their life is already half over).  Wow, that was a close one!  There for a minute I thought it might be me. I refuse to look up the other M word.  That ain't it. Why? you ask.  Because I said so. I'd rather suffer from Madness!
  

O.K. time to get a grip. 

1. No more midnight kitchen raids looking for chocolate (can abstaining from chocolate kill you?). 
2. No more McDonald's Happy Meals because they don't make me happy when I can't fit into my clothes (contrary to popular thinking, spandex is not your friend). 
3. I will use our in-home torture chamber (also known as a treadmill). 
4. I will count my calorie intake instead of counting how much fat I can consume in one meal (that's what gives it flavor you know) and I will eat tofu with a smile (O.K. I'm lying about the tofu).
5. Just in case it is the other M word, I will research Herbal Remedies.
6. Set a goal:  I want to look like a healthy mature (fifty something) woman who is real sexy. Like Reba.  That Oklahoma gal has it going on in all the right places. It will take commitment (something I'm not real good with, been married twice you know), perseverance and A Sky Full Of Angels.  I'll start on Monday.  Haven't decided which month yet. That's another country song I'm sure.

Simple Living is not about escaping the pitfalls of life (natural and self made)but about picking yourself up, dusting off your bruised tush and surviving when others can't or won't.  It's about living life to the fullest with grace, dignity and a great sense of humor.  It's about seeking balance and fulfillment within and then it will manifest itself in every area of your life.  My life is momentarily out of balance but I recognize that problem and will seek my peace one day at a time.