New Food Pyramid 2011......and it still doesn't have chocolate in it!

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. 

Robert Fuoss

Hi ya'll.  It's another hot, humid Oklahoma day (it's not the 100+ degree temperature that will get you around here, it's the humidity).   Each day brings a new challenge when you live in the country.  Most folks around here grew up in the country so the things they just know and can do with ease can send me on a scavenger hunt for an answer (for example, when to plant vegetables, what is the best time of day to water plants, how to get rid of gophers, how to get honey out of a hive without being stung, how to syphon  gas out of a gas tank. oops wasn't suppose to ask that one, was I?). 

How did we  live before we had cell phones (we had landlines), Internet (we used real books), microwave ovens (we used wood burning stoves), fast food restaurants (the kitchen was the heart of the home) or the food pyramid (ahhh! the good ole days.  Everything was cooked in grease, bacon fat or tons of butter)?  It's a mystery to me that Mom and Dad had none of these things and they did just fine.  Go Figure!

My latest attempt at healthy cooking. 
The Dinner Doctor's Meatless Mushroom Galette & Fresh Green Salad.
Where's the beef?

 Speaking of  Food Pyramids, they changed it again (not that it really matters to me cause I've managed to ignore it since they first created it).  I don't think they've figured out if it don't have chocolate as a daily requirement, people won't use it even if they wrap it up in black lace and put a bow on it.



A sample plate of the new food icon My Plat -

Media (1 of 9) Food pyramid is out,

MyPlate is in

I told ya.  No Chocolate.  What a shame!

Becky does everything she can to keep me healthy but it's a hard fought battle for her (I'm sure she is getting jewels in her heavenly crown for this nightmarish attempt to reform me).  When I was growing up, Dad would take his glass gallon jars to the local dairy and buy milk.  The next day, I would scoop the cream off the top and have a bowl of cereal.  Mmmmm  mmmmmm good!  She even found tools at amazon.com to encourage me to eat better.  Take a look at this!  Math was never my thang.  So precise measurements bore me but this is so easy.  Just fill her up and eat till it's all gone and then go to bed hungry and raid the fridge in the middle of the night.  A gal's got to have a plan. 

Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life.  But I go marching on. 
~George Bernard Shaw

Everyone has a price - mine is chocolate.

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass... It's about learning how to dance in the rain.  ("with chocolate") 
 Vivian Greene quotes 

Good Morning from Harmony Acres!  The sun has decided to play hide and seek with us this morning.  We are in that icky drying out stage, again.  It has rained so much that the ground cannot hold any more water and nothing will drain in the house (getting more than a little tired of this).  My yard looks like a jungle and there is nothing I can do about it. But there are still many things that I can do today.

I cooked fish last night (getting more than a little tired of this, too) so the house has that disgusting lingering smell.  Need a smell good fix quick so I go to Becky's site and grab a recipe for Homemade Simmering Orange Potpourri.  That smells really nice.

This smells heavenly (much better than fish).

While I was at her site, I also looked at the really cute free apron patterns she has listed.  I may have to dig out my sewing machine and try one (I am a mini-hoarder, so I have plenty of material somewhere).  I love aprons!

The dogs are all mad at me because we are out of dog biscuits.  Once again, I connect to Becky Cooks Lightly and find a dog treat recipe (she has a lot of cool stuff there.  not just recipes). 

Maggie and the Wieners love these.

I am still somewhat limited by my ankle surgery but really need groceries (funny how I always have the stuff to make dog treats but can't find a piece of sandwich bread in the house).  However, a trip to Wal Mart with people crashing their carts into my sore ankle is just not something I can wrap my head around at this time. Becky says we are just fine (she likes yucky fish and doesn't care if we don't have meat; I don't consider fish real meat) but I think not! 

I have no candy, chips, soda pop, buttery popcorn or any other calorie laden heart stopping good stuff!  I'm going into withdrawal ya'll.  A couple of more days of this and there won't be anything left of me but bad hair, bad ankle, and bad attitude. Somebody (anybody) drive by and throw me a couple of candy bars!!!!  Save me!!!

My first chore of each day is to release the pups from  their overnight pen.  I have come to dread this because they are untrained (I call them the goon squad) blue heelers.  This is my fault entirely. Yes, that is correct.  They drive the cattle (or in my case, the people) by biting at the heels (or in my case, my sore ankle). They have grown so much that I can hardly stand up when they jump on me. 

Mischief and Pickles just waiting to jump me!
Their way of saying "hello, mom, we love you".

Update on grocery situation:

I found 5 boneless chicken fillets hidden in the freezer.  This will make two meals for us.  Tomorrow I will make chicken and dumplings but today we will have a feast.  Marinate half of the chicken fillets, pulled a few green tomatoes from my half price tomato plant (fried green tomatoes) and instant red mashed potatoes.  Then I have the ingredients for homemade garlic cheese biscuits.  O.K. it ain't five star rated but it is good enough!

Chocolate is the answer.  Who cares what the question is.

  ~Author Unknown

Mid Life Crisis? Menopause? Madness?

The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained.  By the age of fifty you have made yourself what you are, and if it is good, it is better than your youth. 
~Marya Mannes, More in Anger, 1958

On my way home from Muskogee today, I had a little time for reflection.  The trip totally exhausted me and some of the people I encountered in town were just plain scary.  So I got to thinking about life in general and mine specifically.  Some areas are great, best it's ever been.  And then there's this one little thing:

Reasons I Think My Life May Be Out Of Balance

1. If my life as I know it now were a  song it would be "I 'm A Survivor" instead of my years gone by days of "Pretty Woman".  My personal appearance isn't number one on my list anymore.(not even in the top ten) but I sure know how to survive emotional and mental upheaval. I need to find a nice balance between the two.  Pretty woman meets Wonder Woman.
2. When I drive in town, I turn the radio off to stay focused  instead of turning it up so loud it rocks the entire block.
3. I sleep with a cute furry cat instead of a handsome hairy man and I don't care (well, maybe a little).
4. I have dimples in my fannie instead of in my smiling face and I don't care (well maybe a little).
5. My hair color out of a bottle for 35 years was red, now it's mostly natural silver and I don't care.
6. The average size American woman is a 14, I am not and I don't care (well, maybe a little).
7. I do the things my mother used to do to drive me crazy and it scares the hell out of me (when I can remember what they were).
8. When it's 32 degrees outside, I'm comfortable in a thin long sleeve shirt (hot flashes you know).
9. My waistline measures more than my bust line (that ain't right)!
10. When I try to climb out of bed, all my bones cracking sounds like a 21 gun salute.

My goodness!  I didn't know it was going to turn into a novel!  Let's see, weight gain, wild mood swings(didn't confess to that one, did I?), hot flashes.  Hold on please, I need to look-up the definition of Mid Life Crisis. (An emotional period of doubt and anxiety sometimes experienced by people who realize that their life is already half over).  Wow, that was a close one!  There for a minute I thought it might be me. I refuse to look up the other M word.  That ain't it. Why? you ask.  Because I said so. I'd rather suffer from Madness!
  

O.K. time to get a grip. 

1. No more midnight kitchen raids looking for chocolate (can abstaining from chocolate kill you?). 
2. No more McDonald's Happy Meals because they don't make me happy when I can't fit into my clothes (contrary to popular thinking, spandex is not your friend). 
3. I will use our in-home torture chamber (also known as a treadmill). 
4. I will count my calorie intake instead of counting how much fat I can consume in one meal (that's what gives it flavor you know) and I will eat tofu with a smile (O.K. I'm lying about the tofu).
5. Just in case it is the other M word, I will research Herbal Remedies.
6. Set a goal:  I want to look like a healthy mature (fifty something) woman who is real sexy. Like Reba.  That Oklahoma gal has it going on in all the right places. It will take commitment (something I'm not real good with, been married twice you know), perseverance and A Sky Full Of Angels.  I'll start on Monday.  Haven't decided which month yet. That's another country song I'm sure.

Simple Living is not about escaping the pitfalls of life (natural and self made)but about picking yourself up, dusting off your bruised tush and surviving when others can't or won't.  It's about living life to the fullest with grace, dignity and a great sense of humor.  It's about seeking balance and fulfillment within and then it will manifest itself in every area of your life.  My life is momentarily out of balance but I recognize that problem and will seek my peace one day at a time.